Constantly Complaining? How Oversharing Negativity Can Be Detrimental to Yourself and Those Around You.

The constant need to share negative thoughts with those around you is a disease. It will rot you from the inside out. It will drive away every person in your life that loves and cares about you. They will cringe as you open your mouth. People feel drained around negative, reactive people who base their happiness and contentment on what’s going on around them. As a result, people won’t look forward to what you might say, because they will preemptively associate you with negative thoughts. 

If someone cares about your sniffles, they will ask, “Are you not feeling well?” If someone cares about the sad look on your face, they will ask, “Hey, how are you doing? You seem upset.” When you volunteer this shit up to others without them even asking, you can come off as incredibly selfish. The people we offer up this shit to, in many cases, are dealing with real problems too. They may have lost a loved one, or are going through a divorce, and these complaints are like vinegar in the eyes. They sting.

We live in a society that preaches sharing anything and everything all the time. Share share share. Ram it right down their goddamn throat. Here, have some more! Have seconds! Have thirds! Not only will I share with you my negative bullshit, but I’ll share with you the entire world’s negative bullshit –  “Look at this video, you’ve gotta see it!” All of us are guilty of this to some degree or another. I didn’t realize how much I was doing this myself until someone pointed it out. It was a struggle at first because I didn’t want to see it. I was in denial of how negative of a person I had become. I didn’t realize that my complaining had blinded me from the hurt going on all around me. I couldn’t see other people’s problems because I was too busy focusing on my own. 

When you have a problem, think about it before sharing with others, and ask yourself whether sharing will make it better. Think about whether you are venting or simply complaining. Not only does sharing negative thoughts hurt the people around you, but it affects your own perspective as well. It hinders your development of a positive mental attitude (PMA). Developing a PMA doesn’t happen overnight. PMA is like a muscle: you have to work it out. You’ve got to stretch it beyond its so-called limits. There is no guaranteed solution to develop a strong PMA, but I know a place to start. Try this for a day: don’t utter one single complaint out of your mouth. Don’t say anything that is in the form of a complaint, not to yourself or others. Don’t let one thing come out of your damn mouth that isn’t for the purpose of edification.

Instead, when you feel a complaint begin to rise to the surface, I want you to check in on someone around you. Ask, “How’s your day going?” I want you to check in on a friend or a loved one you haven’t heard from in a long time. Change the focus to others around you. Love people and be kind. Consider other people’s feelings before your own. We must replace negative thoughts with positive ones; it’s as simple as that. The overall plan is up to you. As you seek to develop a strong PMA, you’ll find that people will begin checking in on you more than they used to – which is what you wanted all along in the first place. 

We have to spread more love and positivity as a people. We all need it.


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